Johnny Walker Himself

Japanese children like to play with other things besides toys that are made to resemble incredibly fast passenger trains. In a country chock full of vending machines offering beer, cigarettes and pornography, you would expect those little whipper snappers would always have something to do.

But let me tell you something, you've never seen anything quite like one of these guys.

It's called a Kabuto-mushi. Translated from Japanese it just means helmet-bug. Kids play with these too, especially in the Summertime, cause apparently that's when they're born and when they like to go out and go swimming with girl bugs.

The first time I saw one, I thought it was a little robot or something. This little boy was standing in the doorway of his house and I reached down cause I thought he was offering me a stick of licorice or a lock of hair or something.

To my horror, it was not licorice at all, but one of these humongous bugs that he was just chillin' with like it was a dog or cat. I didn't understand at the time how amazing these bugs were. They even have video games in many Japanese arcades where you can play one of the bugs and fight to try to knock another bug off of your log! It's intense! Heck, I even saw Kabutomushi origami at the store.

I knew I had to have one, so about fifteen months later when I bought one of my very own.

His name: Johnny Walker

He was one of the most amazing pets I have ever had. When I bought him from the old Japanese lady, she was so excited to sell him! I found out later it was because he was so close to dying and nobody wanted to buy him.

I knew Johnny Walker needed someone to rub his feet and cook his meals after he got home from work, so I bought him a wife. I called her Sally Jo Walker.

They lived happily in my box in Toyohashi, until one day, the box started to smell...bad. I looked in the box and Johnny Walker himself had passed on. We held a funeral for him and then threw him out the window. Sally Jo was so distraught that she took her own life by jumping out the same window only a couple days later. She tried to escape from the box multiple times, so this required us to put her on a 72-hour suicide watch which failed miserably.

The bugs usually feasted on little jelly packets you buy from the 100yen store in Japan, but it wasnt enough to keep Johnny Walker alive.

His legacy lives on even if he does not.

The Pain Train

Trains.

They get you around places you need to go and are often seen racing around christmas trees. They can also be found in the middle of the city where you live, occasionally causing you to have to wait five, ten or thirty-five minutes.

Bottom line is that Nippon is a train kinda country. They love trains. The kids play with toy trains the way young american children might play with matchbox cars or their parents guns.

I dont blame them one bit.

Japan is the home of the Shinkansen. The shinkansen is an extremely fast passenger train. Thats right, its freakin fast. Like Mario Andretti fast. The shinkansen could maybe reach speeds up to 200mph but some designs of the train relying on magnets have reached speeds up to 350mph.

BC Powder. Its just plain fast.

Japan is connected by a vast railway system which connects all regions within the islands and in some cases, connects areas of the four main islands together. In the inner cities, it is the preferred method of transit.

In a city like Tokyo or Osaka, busy commuters are often packed onto trains like the pit of an out of control Creed concert. There are specific workers for JR, Japan railways, whos job it is to squeeze more people into these trains and get them safely on their way for a good 16 hours of office labor at the end of their morning commute.

Bottom line is that the Japanese railway system is ultra efficient, ultra safe (usually) and ultra fun for someone looking for a good time.

There are signs in and around train stations warning the young women to look out for "chikan" or molestors on trains that take the opportunity during the busy rush hour crowds to cop a feel on a poor unsuspecting Japanese girl.

I wouldnt believe it but I witnessed it myself once on a Nagoya train. I started to shout "CHIKAN!!!", but being a big ugly american i think they may have thought i was talking about myself and was trying to shout and let everyone know i was looking for a good time.

Lets see if we cant find one somewhere on the trip and expose that sucker on the internet.

More havoc to come...

Spotlight: Tokyo

Tokyo.

Its the mother of all cities. My first destination on my 60c60d trip. How long do I plan to spend in this area? Two weeks.

Almost exactly three years ago, I was driving through metro Tokyo towards Kichijoji city. I wasnt driving myself, but good ol Tucker Dendobukaichou himself was taking care of it. I was with about five other guys at the time, beginning my mission for the church.

I felt like I has just been placed on another planet. My eyes were wide open with amazement. It was the most beautiful and incredible city I had ever seen. We crossed the rainbow bridge and then past tokyo tower.

Arguably the worlds largest city, Metropolitan Tokyo is considered to be one of the 47 prefectures of japan. It is made up of 23 separate wards making up a total population of 8 Million. For someone like me, to put 8 million people in a city is almost unfathomable. I come from a town of 250,000, Columbus Georgia.

Tokyo prefecture contains 8 Million, but the greater metropolitan area of the city comes up to a grand total of about 35 million people. Simply extraordinary.

Despite the extreme population, the city runs like a well oiled machine. You can set your watch by the arrivals and depatures of inner city trains.

Tokyo is loaded with things to see and do.

Shibuya, one of the special wards of tokyo, has an intersection where thousands of people cross with each time the light flashes green to cross. Hachiko, the faithful dog, still chills out there like he has been doing for the last few years or so.

Fans of the film "Lost in Translation" may have seen Bill Murray playing video games, singing karaoke and watching a strip show in this part of Tokyo.

Harajuku, they got some wicked style at this kinda place. Harajuku girls show up on Sunday to show off their new whacked out clothing styles. For more info, check out "Harajuku Girls" by Gwen Stefani. Let me know if you can stand listening to it, you might be the first.

Oh my gosh, there simply too much. Kaminari Mon, Ikebukuro, Ginza...the list goes on.

For info on my personal take on my journey of this bohemoth city, my trip begins there May 2.

More havoc to come...

The Bicycle

The Bicycle

The bicycle is what happened when the heterocycle became a little...curious.

It also is a grand way to get around a country that relies on trains and has sprawling but compact cities. Apparently when Tokyo was rebuilt after the firebombing of World War II, it was made more expansive than its former, pre-destroyed design.

Here is a Japanese Gal just be-boppin with her trikey.

I suppose in the days before automobiles and coca-cola, people in japan put things close together in an effort to make it easier to commute. Osaka, from what I've heard, maintains this style, compact, small, easy to travel around with something like a bicycle. After all, Osaka was spared from firebombs so the old-school ways are still stickin around. God bless the people of Osaka.

A great way to travel within these cities is a bike. I think I'll perhaps pick up one of these little foldable darlings to use to get around certain areas of the cities without the aid of a bus. Who needs the bus anyways?

So I'm considering one of these.

Do ya think it would work for a 200 lb american? Oh for sure.

I reckon it would be an incredible way to get from takoyaki stand to takoyaki stand. Maybe even taiyaki stand to taiyaki stand. Yakitori stand to yakitori stand. I might even try to go from yakiniku stand to yakiniku stand with this bad mamma-jamma.

Whats another 200 bucks ya know? Its a bike...and it folds!!!!

Someone must have been reading my diary to know my greatest wish.

And wishes do come true.

This is just part of my options, we also got trains, busses and feets.

More havoc to come...